I went to bed Tuesday night, a good, liberal woman — radio tuned to NPR, issues of New Yorkers stacked high on the nightstand, and socialist thoughts of government takeovers lulling me to sleep.
I woke Wednesday morning to my worst nightmare: the cloning of Sarah Palin.
Sometime during the night, “disenfranchised” Tea Party voters rolled out its Beta version of Mama Grizzly 2.0. No longer was there one shrill pit bull in lipstick yelping “You betchas!” There were now two.
Where was Murphy Brown when you needed her?
Stuck in her own nightmare with Dan Quayle during an election year. Only in America, could a fictional TV character become the real target of a sitting vice president. When single woman Murphy Brown became pregnant and decided to raise the child alone, Dan Quayle spoke out, blaming the 1992 Los Angeles riots on a “poverty of values” that included the acceptance of unwed motherhood, as celebrated in popular culture by the CBS comedy series Murphy Brown.”
The New York Daily news headline responded: “QUAYLE TO MURPHY BROWN: YOU TRAMP!” White House Press Secretary Marlin Fitzwater criticized Murphy Brown for “the glorification of life as an unwed mother.” White House phones lit up, and the rest is history.
Awe, the good ol’ days, when fiction, feminism and family values were tossed together like a crazy cake mix. Today’s cake is a Jiffy Mix of fictional feminists claiming gender bias because someone spills the beans about their $150,000 campaign wardrobe or media bias when asked which newspapers they read.
Meanwhile, on the morning after the Delaware primary, suited up in a ‘dressed-for-success” Palin-red blazer, Christine O’Donnell gushed favorite Tea Party vernacular — “we the people,” “for the greater good,” and the ever-populist “restore American values!” It was as if I had landed in the middle of a 4th-grader’s American Revolution presentation at the Dover, Delaware Elks Club.
Where was “liberal media bias” when you needed it?
Evidently, it had traveled to a parallel universe, where it had possessed Karl Rove on Fox News.
It would seem Mr. Rove had woken to a nightmare of his own. His handpicked Republican had lost the Senate primary in Delaware to none other than Sarah Palin’s clone, Christine O’Donnell.
Even GOP-sponsored robocalls — slamming O’Donnell as a fraud, who lived off campaign donations — couldn’t save Karl’s man from the pit bull charms now owned by the Tea Party.
Rove told a squirmy Sean Hannity:
“I wasn’t frankly impressed by [O'Donnell's] abilities as a candidate. What she’ll have to answer in the General election is her own checkered background.”
A sputtering Hannity choked out, ” seems to be a schism here, (gasp) there seems to be a divide.”
(A divide? On Fox News? I really wasn’t in Kansas anymore.)
Rove continued, now shouting.
“Why did she mislead voters about her college education! How does she make a living?
” … ask her about the people following her home [from] her headquarters & how she checks each night in the bushes? … a lot of nutty things that she’s been saying.”
Suddenly, I realized it wasn’t my nightmare I’d woken up in. It was Karl Rove’s and the Republican Party’s.