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Headlines for the new year

Post by Kim Bradford on Dec. 29, 2009 at 1:25 pm with 6 Comments »
December 29, 2009 6:00 pm

We’re working on our annual feature listing headlines we’d like to see in the new year. Look for it in Thursday’s paper. In the meantime, here’s a sampling of headlines that are in the running:

Homeland Security rescinds ‘must board naked’ rule
Underwear now allowed

Russell Investments changes mind, stays in Tacoma
Seattle ‘way too freaky,’ says CEO Doman

Obama wins 2nd Nobel for actually delivering peace

Your turn. What news are you hoping greets us all in 2010?

Sneak preview
Leave a comment Comments → 6
  1. Northwest Detention Center Closes
    City Moves to Create “Northwest Immigration Museum” in Building.

  2. logicmonster says:

    County Council, Executive, sing Kumbaya

  3. elmocatt says:

    1. Famous celebrity dies. World carries on without noticing.

    2. Politician admits to affair – Claims sex was “amazing”

    . . . along those same lines for #3 . . .

    3. Politician’s wife admits to affair – Politician silently stands by her side.

    4. Coach admits before Championship game – “It’s just a game, folks”

    5. State Agency admits its serves no purpose – Employees’ Union agrees

    6. President announces new policy. Limbaugh, Tea-Baggers endorse.

    7. Bloggers solve world’s problems.

    and finally,

    8. Internet cancelled due to lack of usage.

  4. Those are great. You all can be faux headline writers for us any day.

  5. derekyoung says:

    elmocatt, those are hilarious. You should work for the Onion.

  6. papasan says:

    Looking good, elmocatt.
    Here’s my headlines that we’ll NEVER see.

    A 20 car pileup on I-5 Northbound had no effect on the Southbound traffic as people simply minded their own business instead of “rubbernecking” and causing everyone to slow to the normal crawl.

    A Spanaway man was bitten on the forearm severely while attempting to put his little Cockapoo in the car for “ridie-ridies” A neighbor heard someone say, “You get in that stinking, sweltering hot hunk of tin with no water, no toys and just a seatbelt to chew on, and I’LL go inside the stor and take 2 hours to pick up a prescription and a box of Kotex for your mate. You cruel, insensitive jerk.
    Boy, I wish that dogs could talk. No, no, no. That shirt looks terrible with those pants. You look like an Organ grinder lacking a monkey.
    Be kind to your dogs, folk

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