These days …
Value Village is the new Macy’s.
Hamburger is the new steak.
Hobo stew is the new hamburger.
Penny tubes are the new 401ks.
Lava lamps are the new flat screens.
Daytime soaps are the new jobs.
Pabst Blue Ribbon is the new champagne.
Fake crab meat is the new sushi.
Low-rent apartments are the new McMansions.
Homeless camps are the new low-rent apartments.
Old Plymouths are the new Lexuses.
Old Schwinns are the new old Plymouths.
Maybe I’ll think of some more.