Editorial writers around the country are talking about the nation’s reaction to swine flu. They’re split about 50-50 on whether Americans are going overboard in closing whole school districts, canceling state sports tournaments, urging people to stay off subways. After all, people die of the flu every year.
The writers, tongues firmly planted in cheeks, are suggesting possible reasons for all the hype. Here are the going theories:
“Two words: Sweeps week.”
“Media tired of talking about the economy.”
“I suspect the people behind it hold stock in surgical mask manufacturers – and that this may be what they came up with after running out of money from the piles they made on the millennial rollover computer scare.”
“We have a conspiracy theorist who claims it’s all been manufactured by Bank of America so no one will pay attention to what’s really going on with BoA.”
“I suspect Dick Cheney of manufacturing the swine flu in order to distract from the whole torture debate.”
“I just figured this was the week “they” wanted to finish construction of the NAFTA Superhighway without anyone noticing.”