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MARRIAGE: Not all traditions are worth keeping

Letter by Gabriel Landry, Tacoma on June 22, 2012 at 4:26 pm with 8 Comments »
June 25, 2012 11:25 am

What is a tradition other than something you have done before so you do it again? For hundreds of years the traditional “cure” for dozens of ailments was making a person bleed. A good bleeding gets rid of the bad blood and you get better . . . right? Well, assuming you don’t bleed too much or you don’t get an infection; in that case you’ll likely die.

When I hear someone say that marriage is a bond between a single man and a single woman, I hear them say it is a tradition. It is a tradition that has been around for centuries.

We are coming to a crossroad where we are faced with the prospect of opening up the possibility of recognizing another bond, another family structure that has been with us for as long as there have been families. Same-sex parents are not a new concept. It has been denied a place in our society because it is counter to our idea of tradition. There is a fear that it is somehow going to affect our everyday lives. It will not.

Recognizing same-sex marriage will allow for open, loving relationships to have the same recognition as “traditional” relationships. Committed long-term relationships are a good thing. Allowing people to have those open and committed relationships will strengthen our society. It will not destroy a tradition; it will expand it.

Traditions themselves do not create a loving experience; love creates meaningful traditions.

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  1. LeePHill says:

    Congratulations to Dick Cheney’s daughter and her long time partner for their recent legal marriage. Luckily they found a place that didn’t discriminate.

  2. LeePHill – interesting how have a child or someone else close to you want to have a same-sex marriage oftentimes changes one’s mind. My father is now one of the more vocal supporters of gay marriage since my brother came out and got married (21 years ago unofficially – officially since then).

  3. beerBoy, so true. I changed my staunch Southern Baptist views when my grandson came out. I was close to him, the oldest, and he was just a “normal,” well-adjusted kid. How could an adolescent who was into sports, working on cars, working on his Eagle Scout be gay?

    He talked to me before he talked to his own family, and I was speechless, but urged him to seek counseling and to read up and study. He didn’t think he needed counseling, but he did want to know if anything was medically “wrong” with him. He amassed a huge collection of studies and literature and shared them with me. The scientific information was much more persuasive than all the myths and religious misinformation.

    I joined PFLAG and worked on my own issues for several years with other parents and friends of people who are gay. I studied all of the literature available, and the science that was developed.

    I wish I could have joined the family reunion in Houston where the whole family went to the Pride parade this last weekend. It is my grandson and his partner’s 20th anniversary this year.

    They have three well-adjusted, wonderful adopted children. Two are in “special needs classes” and one was considered “unadoptable”. They are just as “normal” as they can be, too. They’ve had to go through unimaginable legal issues to have a small number of the same rights as married couples in Texas, and they feel threatened every day that the state will become more repressive and cause their family to have to move or spend their money and time fighting back to keep their family intact.

  4. Frankenchrist says:

    Marriage is a legal construct. Nothing more, nothing less.

  5. aislander says:

    A marriage between the biological parents is the single best arrangement for rearing the offspring of that marriage.

    Spare me the horror stories: I said “best,” not “perfect.” There is no “perfect…”

  6. In advertising they use the word “best” instead of “better” because – being a value judgment that can’t really be measured one to one with their competitors – they can claim that they are best without having to prove it.

    Next up….heterosexual marriages are best with melting cheese.

  7. LeePHill says:

    “aislander says:
    June 26, 2012 at 3:17 pm A marriage between the biological parents is the single best arrangement for rearing the offspring of that marriage.
    Spare me the horror stories: I said “best,” not “perfect.” There is no “perfect…”

    First of all, you have no proof of your original assertion, but more humorous, you want the “smaller government” deciding what is best.

  8. aislander, I don’t agree with your statement, which I used to, because of actual studies of real life results.

    However, even using your “best” and “better” comparisons, what would have been “better” or “best” for the real life situation my grandson’s children inherited – no biological parents willing to raise them and no hope of adoption from opposite-sex couples.

    I don’t even think it is a “last-resort” decision, since my grandson and his partner have been proved to be about the best parents I know, myself certainly included. Any child raised by them would have had the “best” family in the world.

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