Letters to the Editor

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DOMESTIC ABUSE: Men are being helped, too

Letter by Susan Adams, Tacoma on July 16, 2010 at 4:36 pm with 9 Comments »
July 19, 2010 9:11 am

Re: “No advocates for men” (letter, 7-16).

Domestic abuse is real. It happens every day, here in our community and around the world. The majority of victims are female, but there is no question that some victims are male.

Domestic abuse happens in heterosexual relationships and in gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender relationships. It happens to the wealthy, middle class and poor, educated and uneducated alike. It tears at the fabric of our society.

It is not a family problem. It is a community problem. Agencies like the Crystal Judson Family Justice Center have been created to help those who are being abused. The center serves both female and male victims. In fact, about 10 percent of the clients receiving services at the Justice Center are male.

Professional, well-trained advocates working at the center and other agencies throughout this community help thousands of victims every year and will continue to do so until domestic abuse is no longer an issue in our society.

(Adams is director of the Crystal Judson Family Justice Center.)

Leave a comment Comments → 9
  1. edasterisk says:

    how about changing the name to be… gender neutral…. for all victims

  2. edasterisk -because it’s become a Big business with profitable sequential choreography. This is a bread and butter gig for attorneys, ‘judges’ and psychology majors.
    follow the money…

  3. murphtall says:

    america is misandrous, face it; its fact.

  4. reformedliberal says:

    Adams is lying. She knows full well that female perpetrators are between 40-50% of the total (a bit more than “some”).

    The simple truth is that the DV industry (yes, “industry”… there is a whole cadre of “professionals” who make their living from this brand of misery) is not interested in helping male victims.

  5. decomposing1 says:

    It’s all about the “primary aggressor” from the police point of view. Dude could have a broken arm and a stab would but if the woman has some cuts and bruises or missing teeth then the man would still be considered the “primary aggressor”

  6. Maybe Ms Adam’s can share what she provides for Men at her facility. Personally, I believe she is misleading the public hear to protect her own organizations revenue. Surely, a director of a facility coming on here is purely self serving.

    She writes an editorial that is published with her lies and deceit. There is NOT a small percentage of men that are victims of DV. It is about equal according to federal studies.

    The US Justice Department states that keeping a person from their children is Domestic Violence. If women did not fight for full custody of their children, if the Courts in Pierce County did not by policy only give dads every weekend, then we would be seeing less Domestic Violence. But when a senator states at a hearing by the legislature, that Pierce County Judges have stated that a matter of Policy, they only give non-custodial Parents every other weekend visits, a clear violation of Washington State Law, that demands ruling in the best interest of the child, then bias is at work.

    WHen was the last time one of these women looked out for the best interest of their own child, by not abusing the father, and allowing him the time he deserves with his children.

    Women do abuse men, and shelters like this are only out for the Federal Dollars that come with protecting Women. Makes me wonder, how many homeless drug abusers are staying at this shelter, because they have been coached to state they were a victim of abuse. One can never tell if the records are accurate, since the director herself spreads falsehoods like the ones in this letter to the editor.

    Shut them down, shut them all down until they create policies that have ZERO bias towards Men or Women. Deny them Federal Funding until they have Policies that treat Men and Women equally. It’s the least that can be done to ensure equal protection under the law……………

  7. khrystape says:

    It would be a wise thing to research your local agencies before you react on a public forum.

    The FJC is NOT a shelter, rather a place for ALL VICTIMS self claimed or court claimed to recieve support. Think of them as a “one stop shop” from DSHS SW, advocates and Licensed Mental Health provider, Chaplan, to legal help. It’s a first come first serve. Men are just as responsible as anyone else to get their bodies out there and advocate for themselves and ASK for help…because IT DOES exist!

    Of course, if you don’t see yourself as a victim of abuse, your not going to seek help.

    Here is the legal definition of Domestic Violence that WA state uses…Not what the Federal Gov. “suggests”. RCW 26.50.010

    (1) “Domestic violence” means: (a) Physical harm, bodily injury, assault, or the infliction of fear of imminent physical harm, bodily injury or assault, between family or household members; (b) sexual assault of one family or household member by another; or (c) stalking as defined in RCW 9A.46.110 of one family or household member by another family or household member.


    I DO NOT work for the FJC but do support them. I Do work in the field and have the same disclosure as most other providers…equal opportunity, equal and same quality of service…TO ALL!

  8. khrystape says:

    @ larsman

    You said:
    July 16, 2010 at 11:06 pm
    “edasterisk -because it’s become a Big business with profitable sequential choreography. This is a bread and butter gig for attorneys, ‘judges’ and psychology majors.
    follow the money…”

    Is that why the entire victim provider services in Pierce County (for sure, and most other Counties) are NON-PROFIT funded by grants and charities? Is that why people with Masters Degrees and PhD’s get paid less than $25 (at tops) an hour to work with victims and their children?

    Personally, in my experience, it’s the providers in private practice offering services for the ABUSERS who are making a better “profit.” Mental Health is a thank less field with extremely high levels of liability. Dr. Phil was in it for the fame and money. The rest of us, especially those who work in DV and Non-profits, do it for the love of the job and hope for emotional freedom in the future.

    Oh and one more thing. Ask any Judge in Pierce County which cases bring on more burn out and emotional stress (for them) than any other case and they will tell you those to do with Children and Families especially DV and bitter Custody Battles. There isn’t any amount of money in the world that could make listening to people beating and torturing another, murdering children, OR raping children by someone they called “mom” or “dad” or “grandpa” or “grandma” worth listening too.

    Really? Follow the money? Your right, the money will lead you right back to the abuser…male or female.

  9. edasterisk says:

    well stated………….reformedliberal and wsp

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